Monday, December 21, 2015

A Christmasy Poem by Abbey

I don't know about you, but I've already attended two white elephant gift exchanges this December. To the first one I brought a monkey hat that sang the theme tune to the Monkees TV show ("Hey hey we're the Monkees! And people say we monkey around. But we're too busy singing to put anybody down..."), but to the second one I decided to be more creative. My mom and I went to the thrift store and bought three gray elephant stuffed animals of varying sizes (and a bag of mini chocolate bars) and I wrote the following poem to accompany the plushies:

A time of lights and snow
Of parties and go go go.
One specific gathering cannot be escaped
Though it is rather half-baked:
A white elephant gift exchange
Harder to avoid than mange.
It started with the king of Siam.
No, he didn't give his courtiers lambs.
He burdened them with white elephants—
But that is quite irrelevant.
My point is about discrimination.
Hopefully we are not in stagnation.
White elephants are well and good,
But gray are left out of the brotherhood.
It say: take your Twix and Milky Way
But don't forget your ashen friends from Family Elephantidae.
African, Asian, gray, or albino,
All elephants have floppy ears, trunks, and tusks not unlike a rhino.
So stop being exclusive;
It's rather abusive.
Include all elephants
In your gift exchange presents.

I wanted that last line to say "You ungrateful peasants!" but I thought that wasn't really compatible with the holiday spirit. :P

Merry Christmas everybody!


  1. Hahahahaha! I love your poem :)

    I went to a white elephant gift exchange and the absolute only thing I had to take was a copy of my book, because since we just moved, I had recently thrown out everything that I might have used in such an exchange.