tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9111892212177038047.post9129063373198770276..comments2023-05-07T00:29:15.333-07:00Comments on Dolls, Books, and Things That Matter: The Prologe.Abbey Stellingwerffhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10426609355118356332noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9111892212177038047.post-20133914458746122152013-01-29T09:52:06.923-08:002013-01-29T09:52:06.923-08:00Jack read this to me and I liked it. but I feel ba... Jack read this to me and I liked it. but I feel bad for the baby. it will be boring growing up and no one knowing about her.<br /><br /> Come to see me. All our snow came back, but I don't think it is sticky enough for a Dalek snowman. My spider friend says hi back, and he will not come visit if you are really sure you don't want him to.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9111892212177038047.post-6735753019373440722013-01-28T07:30:15.969-08:002013-01-28T07:30:15.969-08:00I like it! Especially the characters! (I think the...I like it! Especially the characters! (I think the two wizards are going to be a lot of fun.)<br /><br /> The second half, maybe if it is just slowed down a little? It felt a little rushed compared to the first half.<br /> Im very excited to learn more about the book! <br /><br /> There was a Tintin book where he didn't know who he was? Or did you mean a book where the reader doesn't know much about the character? (I probably got confused.)Jackhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04395502314886308773noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9111892212177038047.post-69004720242699584252013-01-26T13:39:39.060-08:002013-01-26T13:39:39.060-08:00This is very interesting and exciting! The first ...This is very interesting and exciting! The first bit was creepy and Pirates of the Caribbeanish but it got better after that. The scene after that vaguely reminded me of a mysterious clocktower in the middle of a town. Gwina is just a little confusing to me though. Her voice is called unladylike but her other manners are feminine so I'm not sure how to imagine her voice. You may want to work on that bit a little.<br />Here, "The cover, though not visible, was covered in a fancy golden script," you could probably replace "not" with "barely", because otherwise the readers shouldn't know what isn't visible.<br />Maybe what the last half is missing is a little disbelief. The father is so quick to believe that their child is a wizard and makes up his mind a little too quickly, but that's just me.<br />I hope that helps some! This is really cool! Emilyn J Cloverhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00892659942186331664noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9111892212177038047.post-92207568694387022822013-01-25T23:00:44.199-08:002013-01-25T23:00:44.199-08:00Intriguing. I do agree that the second half is mis...Intriguing. I do agree that the second half is missing something. If you're going to be skipping forward to when the child is quite a bit older, and are going to be focusing on the child, you might want to just cut the second half. It sounds cruel, I know, but having too much information in a prologue is not a good idea and can frustrate readers. <br /><br />And I'm glad you found the Rowa interesting. I personally find world-building my favorite part of writing, and have several worlds. I've been working on the Rowa for ten years now, so it didn't happen overnight. I'm sure your world building will improve with practice!Kendra E. Ardnekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03593051552921296108noreply@blogger.com